March 11, 2010 - All the Little Noises

My little Georgia's existence has heightened so many of my senses. First of all, there is my sense of beautiful. What, didn't know you had that sense? Yeah, neither did I until this beautiful, perfect being came screaming and smiling into my life and *poof* - everything is beautiful.

But there's another sense that's climbing the walls. I never realized things are so dang noisy! There's nothing like wrestling with that quivering lip, those crocodile tears, those bloodshot eyes and the pitiful whimpers and then finally having closed eyes, sleepy sighs and peace, oh that blessed peace. And as soon as those eyelids flutter shut, I hear every beep, every squeak, every creak and groan - all screaming at me from around the house.

I have now entered a life of watching TV but never hearing it. And who would have thought a refrigerator, and everything in it, could create such a cacophony of noise.

There's the raking and tearing of dog nails on the linoleum. Ahhh... bad dog!

Not to mention the creaks and groans in the floor and the squeaks in the doors.

Why, oh why does my house not enjoy the tranquility of my daughter's sleep?

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March 10, 2010 - Little Booties

One day I will look back at so many things from these days and crave them like my lungs crave oxygen, like my tongue craves chocolate and like my bare feet crave the feel of sand on the beach. And in those cravings will be knits and buttons and bows and footed pjs and the smell of Dreft. I find baby clothes absolutely delicious and I love dressing Georgia in her different outfits each day. When else in life can you wear stripes and polka dots and socks that look like sneakers and look head-to-toe adorable?

Years from now I'll pull those faded, stained and well-worn wonders out of their dust-covered boxes and for a moment, I'll be right here again. I'll remember how tiny Georgia is right now, and I'll swear I smell Dreft in the air.

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March 9, 2010 - If Only...

If only I had a cushy swing big enough to rock me to and fro. If only I had the time to lay in said swing whenever I wanted as lights and butterflies danced above my head. If only Georgia knew now the "if onlys" she'll be saying one day.

Georgia wanted no part of a relaxing swing today, nor did she want any part of dozing off into a peaceful slumber in said swing. Georgia wanted no part in giving her mommy time to get dressed and ready for work. Oh dear little one, the day will come when you won't fear for missing any little thing that's going on around you and you'll happily doze off if you could only find the time. I wish I could teach you to take your time and not fight to grow up so quickly and to just swing through life at a lulling pace.

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March 8, 2010 - Singing Smiles onto Faces

I haven't figured out exactly what the songs are yet, but whatever she's singing, Georgia's melodies make my heart smile every single time. She loves to sing and she does it as loudly as her little lungs will let her. A patchwork of sounds she belts out with the freedom only a child can possess, always confident that what she's singing is beautiful. And it is, there is no sound I've heard in existence more pure and good and beautiful.

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March 7, 2010 - Peace, Love and Happiness

My tied-dyed little peace child. Peace, love and happiness is a motto sung through the decades to describe so many times, so many movements, so many feelings. And thinking of it tonight as I stare at my brightly-hued little one, it's a motto to describe this moment in time, this exact breath in my life. Georgia fills my life with peace, love and happiness - every day, every minute, every second. I am better because she is alive.

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March 6, 2010 - Standing on Top of the World

Georgia always seems to be standing these days, with balance found through parental arms of course. She forgot she's supposed to be working on rolling over right now. Yeah, scratch that, she'd rather stand. So she stands on the couch, on tables, on our bed, on the Boppy, on mommy or daddy's stomach - anywhere she can straighten those chubby baby legs.

Her little legs will wobble and then stiffen into roly-poly posts. Then her little feet will start to slide away from each other like two magnets repelling the other. She hasn't quite figured out how to get them back together again. Too cute.

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March 5, 2010 - Not a Picturesque Day

Georgia's stuffed, gray elephant with a melancholy look upon its face pretty much sums up my mood today, so forgive me if it was all I could muster to photograph before I plaster that "I'm so happy" look upon my face and go on auto-pilot as I head into work this afternoon. This is not a good "mom day" for me, a phrase not at all about me and my daughter but all about the story of another mother/daughter relationship. It's a good read - full of so much happiness, laughter, triumph, pride and love, oh the love that is filled well beyond the brim. Only problem is, the story ends tragically, unfairly and way too soon and it's the ending I keep reading over and over and over again. I read the ending again today, in fact it was in my dreams this morning as I struggled to wake from my grogginess.

I miss my mom every day and I wish our story was still be written full of laughter and those happy tears we cried so many times. I still look for her every day - in the mirror as I stare back at myself, over my shoulder, in the dark of the night, in my daughter's eyes. I keep looking, hoping... but I haven't heard the brush of angel's wings yet. Our story ended two short days before the beautiful birth of my daughter and the start of another happy book. That's a book I must now get back to filling with our own new, sunshine and cotton candy tales.

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