My Daughter HATES Me!

Yes, that's how I put it. My husband tells me hate is too strong a word and that Georgia is only 21 months old - she doesn't know how to hate and that she would never hate her mommy. Well, he hasn't been on the other end of her attitude for the past several months - attitude (hate) that has only gotten worse since we moved to North Carolina and my husband starting staying home with Georgia every day. Trust me, the girl can't stand me.

My sweet, little, innocent girl who once wanted only me and my milk-filled breasts is gone. I wish I knew where she has gone. Maybe there's just lingering anger over the whole milk-going-away thing. Who knows? Who would have thought I'd be worrying about my daughter's anger issues so early on?

Since I work nights, I'm the last to wake up in the mornings. But when I do and I walk into the room, and as soon as Georgia sees me, she yells at me and makes a not-so-nice face. If I sit too close to her or her daddy, she hits me. If I try to pick her up, she yells and hits me. If I get anywhere near my husband, she yells and cries and hits me. I could go on and on with one situation after another, but I won't. I'll just say almost every one has a similar outcome to the ones I just described. Georgia has sat in the corner so many times for hitting me in the face and head that at this point, she thinks time-out is some kind of game and she doesn't mind playing it if it means she can pummel me. I'm getting my butt kicked by a 21-month old - how's that for embarrassing.

I will say, as my husband is quick to point out in her defense, that this all smacks strongly of jealousy issues. My daughter seems to be jealous if I have a relationship with her daddy or if I intrude on daddy/daughter time. She seems to want my husband all to herself. SHE'S 21-MONTHS OLD!!! REALLY??

I'll admit, it hurts. It hurts a lot. But I try not to be the "oh woe is me" type. It's not about me, it's about her. But it is hard not to let my pained heart have its way sometimes and just feel deflated. All those months of not drinking while pregnant and breastfeeding, no caffeine, no raw foods, very little processed foods, being the only one to get up at all hours of the night to feed and comfort her, the efforts I went through to breastfeed - no dairy for me, the painful Mastitis, the surgery, pumping at work (near impossible in my field) - all of it I did for her without a thought of myself in my mind. So yes, maybe it's a little childish that I know cry "this is how she repays me?" because I did all those things early in her life, not to be "repaid" some day, but just so she was taken care of in the best way possible and had the best start in life.

I just want to figure out how to calm the waters. I don't want her angry, and I don't want her mad at me. I hope this is not an indicator of the relationship she and I will always have. What does that say about me? Have I already failed as a mother in just the first 21 months? Did I ever act this way as a toddler? I wish to hell my mother was still alive for me to ask her that. Have other mothers gone through similar situations with their daughters?

Let me tell you, forget the toddler hits, it's my mind that's truly getting pummeled as I wonder about all these questions and concerns. Who ever thinks their daughter will act this way toward them before she hits those crazy teen years? I would be prepared for it then - an over-hormonal young woman trying to figure it all out and lashing out at me - OK. But at 21 months? That wasn't in the "Kids for Dummies" manual.

Moms, am I alone in this?