May 6, 2010 - The "All Over the Place" Post

As I sit here tonight, the end of a long day actually past me now in the a.m. hours, I watch my lovely little sleeping at my breast with the reflections of a muted T.V. dancing on her cheeks and forehead. It's the only source of light around us. The rain is falling outside, softly at first and now with much more urgency. My daughter's breathing the only other sound in the room. I notice now the rain fall is more rhythmic than her infant breathing which has yet to find its stride. Funny how infant's are like that, one minute their breaths come in perfectly timed intervals, and the next minute you find yourself staring at her chest, wondering where that next breath went to. I watch as her mouth turns upward and the corners, quickly at first and then for a longer stretch the second time. I can even she the smile in her closed eyes. I wonder if it's a dream making her grin. The warmth of her little body cozying up to me is all I need right now, this is home. This is happiness at its largest point.

My day certainly started much different than its end. I woke up this morning to pain, and that pain turned to anger. In my "good" breast, a mass the size of a golf ball and, when the doctor's nurse asked later, pain of three on that scale of 1 to 10. After my last lump in my now "bad" breast quickly led to Mastitis and then surgery, this golf ball greeting was not starting off my day as I intended. And then I got mad because isn't nursing your child natural, isn't it the right thing to do for them, isn't it what my body is made to do? Then why all the freaking problems? Ahhh!!! So I called in sick to work and made a date with a hot bath, a massage technique, and a breast pump. If you know how to get rid of blocked milk ducts, then you know how all of that fits into place. This was not getting the best of me this time.

But first, I had to get rid of the wee one, so we made a stop by her daycare. And I realized I have no pictures of her at daycare, a place where she spends four hours a day four days a week. A place where she bonded with the first adults that weren't mom or dad. A place where I'm learning she already flirts with the little boys (sheesh) and seems to recognize her first little "friends." So I snapped a few picture before leaving for my bath/massage/pump date.

She has her very own drawer:

A peek into her crib:

Later tonight, I found myself at Georgia's hamper. Is it wrong to do the sniff test on your six month old daughter's clothes? I mean, I know her clothes should be clean and pressed (ha!) and hung neatly in her closet, but after completely soaking one of her two sleep sacks with pee last night, I needed the other one to put her to bed in tonight. Only thing is, it was somewhere in her hamper and I can't remember why it made it in there.

Found it! A few sniffs later and Georgia was wearing it - no pee, no poop, no spit up - we're good. Good night!