March 5, 2010 - Not a Picturesque Day

Georgia's stuffed, gray elephant with a melancholy look upon its face pretty much sums up my mood today, so forgive me if it was all I could muster to photograph before I plaster that "I'm so happy" look upon my face and go on auto-pilot as I head into work this afternoon. This is not a good "mom day" for me, a phrase not at all about me and my daughter but all about the story of another mother/daughter relationship. It's a good read - full of so much happiness, laughter, triumph, pride and love, oh the love that is filled well beyond the brim. Only problem is, the story ends tragically, unfairly and way too soon and it's the ending I keep reading over and over and over again. I read the ending again today, in fact it was in my dreams this morning as I struggled to wake from my grogginess.

I miss my mom every day and I wish our story was still be written full of laughter and those happy tears we cried so many times. I still look for her every day - in the mirror as I stare back at myself, over my shoulder, in the dark of the night, in my daughter's eyes. I keep looking, hoping... but I haven't heard the brush of angel's wings yet. Our story ended two short days before the beautiful birth of my daughter and the start of another happy book. That's a book I must now get back to filling with our own new, sunshine and cotton candy tales.