March 5, 2010 - Not a Picturesque Day

03.05.10 BLOG2

Georgia's stuffed, gray elephant with a melancholy look upon its face pretty much sums up my mood today, so forgive me if it was all I could muster to photograph before I plaster that "I'm so happy" look upon my face and go on auto-pilot as I head into work this afternoon. This is not a good "mom day" for me, a phrase not at all about me and my daughter but all about the story of another mother/daughter relationship. It's a good read - full of so much happiness, laughter, triumph, pride and love, oh the love that is filled well beyond the brim. Only problem is, the story ends tragically, unfairly and way too soon and it's the ending I keep reading over and over and over again. I read the ending again today, in fact it was in my dreams this morning as I struggled to wake from my grogginess.

I miss my mom every day and I wish our story was still be written full of laughter and those happy tears we cried so many times. I still look for her every day - in the mirror as I stare back at myself, over my shoulder, in the dark of the night, in my daughter's eyes. I keep looking, hoping... but I haven't heard the brush of angel's wings yet. Our story ended two short days before the beautiful birth of my daughter and the start of another happy book. That's a book I must now get back to filling with our own new, sunshine and cotton candy tales.

Anonymous –   – (March 9, 2010 at 6:10 PM)  

I am not anonymous but nothing else fit. My name is Barb and Jaime my mom has been gone since 1998 and I still miss her. I understand how you feel. I had a couple times when I have known she was around and she comes to me in my dreams. Thank goodness not a dream of her last day but dreams of good things. I believe she is telling me that she and my dad are ok. Go ahead and live your life she conveys. We are fine and we will all be together again some day.
I am much older than you are Jaime. My 4 children are in their 30's but the mother-daughter bond is the same til the last day here on earth and you miss it so when it is out of sight. You have a beautiful family...much that your mom is proud of even if she hasn't said those words to you in person.
Remember she is always close by.
Barb Condecon - Council Bluffs, IA

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