365 Days of Everything Georgia: June 20, 2010

My loving husband -

You amaze me. I have fallen more in love with you every day, all over again in these last eight and a half months as I've watched you grow into fatherhood. When I watch you with Georgia, I see patience, understanding, wisdom, teaching, learning and love, oh so much love. And just to see the way our little lovely looks at you and hugs you - to see that is to see the purest love ever. She adores her daddy, as I do.

I don't think any of us ever know what parenthood will hold for us before that big day comes, or what kind of parent we'll be, but honey, being a daddy fits you perfectly. On day one you found your baby-holding arms and learned how to rub Georgia's head just right so she'd stop fussing and quickly mastered the perfect temperature she likes her bottle at during feedings. I love how you tried out different nicknames through the months for her, right now it's "punky." Not to sound cliche, but you are a natural daddy. You care for our little lovely every night while I'm at work, and I know she is loved and secure and in the safest hands ever.

I can't wait to see what each future day holds for this little family of ours, and to see how we mature as parents. And I can't wait to fall in love with you a little bit more tomorrow and the day after and the day after, as I watch you teach and protect and love our little girl. I'd say she's lucky to have such a wonderful loving daddy, but I don't have to say it aloud - she's knows it. Just look at her eyes next time you hold her.

Happy Father's Day to you and all the dads.

Georgia's Birth Story

The timing of Georgia's birth, in a way, came out of a journey to death. I'd like to think with every death comes new life, and for me, Georgia is that life. She is my saving grace and has kept me breathing when my lungs were screaming to stop, screaming to drown in my own self-pity.

My husband and I decided to try for Georgia just a few months after our walk down the aisle. You see, my mom had been diagnosed with incurable Ovarian Cancer, so I wanted a baby soon. I wanted a baby while there was still time to have my mother there as I brought a new being into the world, to see my mother hold her granddaughter, to ask my mom which of my baby features my daughter bore, to lean on my mother when I had those "new mom" questions and for so many other moments I had played out in my thoughts over and over again through the years.

My husband and I were thrilled to soon find out our little Georgia was growing inside of me, rounding out my belly day by day, pushing tiny feet into my sides, entertaining us with a neverending chorus of hiccups. We went to the doctor's appointments, the baby classes, took the hospital tour and had everything ready for the day we brought our darling home in Omaha, Nebraska.

It's funny though, life seems to fight our planning and always chooses its own course - and so it did. When my belly was just shy of 38 weeks round, the day came. After a 52-year-long life, which was as bright as they come, my mother faded away. She died on Sunday, October 11, 2009.

Early Monday morning, with my doctor's permission, my husband and I got on a plane to fly home to Georgia for my mom's funeral. We got off the plane in Atlanta around 3 p.m. Twelve hours later, at 3 a.m. on Tuesday, I was sleeping at my parents' house. As I lay in the home where my mom had been just days before, that journey toward life took a leap. My water broke and the contractions started coming within minutes. We were more than a thousand miles away from our doctor, our hospital and our house.

So off to the local hospital we went in the dark of night, my husband driving my mom's SUV and not having a clue where he was going. I had to give him directions between contractions. We arrived at the hospital and didn't even know what entrance to go to. We found locked doors twice before finding the right entrance, and yeah, I floundered up to both locked doors!

We checked in and by the time we got to a room, I turned around and there were my sister, brother and cousin in the room with my husband and I and my other sister and father were on the way. We had thought we'd be delivering in Omaha with just my husband and I and the calming classical CD's I'd burned. I guess my mom had other ideas.

So there we were, in the hospital where two years earlier they had cut cancer from my mother, in the hospital where my two nieces were born, in the hospital where my delivery nurse had also been my sister's bridesmaid - there surrounded by those who love me most and the memory of one who just couldn't stay long enough to make it. I delivered Georgia Katherine at 10:46 a.m. She weighed 7 lbs. and 8 ounces.

We left the hospital on Wednesday with a borrowed car seat, a bag full of borrowed baby clothes, a lot of flowers and hearts bursting with every emotion you can possibly imagine. We arrived at my parents' house to a borrowed crib, borrowed baby supplies and relatives arriving in town with funeral clothes and baby gifts packed in their suitcases. On Friday, my daughter and I looked down on my mother in her casket, and on Saturday we buried her. It's the only time my daughter every saw her grandmother.

My mother fought hard to live long enough to meet her granddaughter and in the end, she missed the date by two days. But life doesn't stop, and it's the beauty of my daughter's life that keeps me smiling. And oh how her life makes me smile. I like to believe whenever I'm holding my daughter and she's starring off into the distance, over my shoulder, that she's seeing my mom - a guardian angel for both of us - and that they are already the best of friends.

The Kloeppings – (June 21, 2010 at 10:01 AM): I have to say - you have an amazing gift for writing! I've been browsing back thru your posts and so enjoying every one of them. And your birth story over there on the right side had me in tears (like full on, ugly crying type tears..). So amazing:) thank you for sharing that!
Paige – (June 22, 2010 at 3:55 PM): He's a lucky daddy! Georgia is just beautiful and you are capturing her so well!
Anonymous – – (June 25, 2010 at 4:47 AM): Hi Jaime,
I found your blog through "enjoying the small things" and just wanted to say that your D-A-D picture of your gorgeous Georgia is the most precious picture I've ever seen for a happy daddy's day-simply beautiful! And such loving words for your hubby on his first Father's Day. It is a magical moment in life when you find yourself falling deeper in love with your husband as he holds your first born and becomes "Daddy"...
Thank you for an enjoyable read!!
Monique
From Calgary Canada

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June 20, 2010 - Daddy's First Dad's Day

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